These past few weeks, I have traveled back to Los Angeles and have been spending time organizing my life and my thoughts and while reflecting back, the theme of these weeks has been forgiveness.
I happen to admittedly be one of the worst possible people at forgiving others. I have a motto “fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me” and I have lived by this motto since I can remember. Because of that, people have one strike. If they hurt me…. they’re out of my life.
I’m not proud of this quality. I’m actually disgusted by it… but as an extremely sensitive person, this has become a second nature instinct. I have literally been best friends with someone one day and the next day never spoken with them again.
So that actually happened about two years ago. I spent nearly every waking moment with one person and after she hurt me, I cut her out of my life completely. It was like she didn’t exist.
Two years later, I was forced to go to dinner with her by a mutual friend who is quite sneaky and it was like our friendship never changed. It all clicked all over again. I’m staying with her for the next three months. This is a powerful reminder of how forgiveness (both me forgiving her and her forgiving me) has been such a blessing.
Today, on the Day of Arafah, the theme is also forgiveness. Fasting today will forgive your sins from last year and for the next year inshaAllah. As I sit here, staring down some Creamy Ranch Quaker snacks that I can’t wait to dive into, I am so humbled by forgiveness.
Allah’s forgiveness is infinite. He does not even judge us until the Day of Judgement. He loves us to the point that His Forgiveness has such a simple requirement of fasting one day.
I keep asking myself: Who do I think that I am that I do not forgive people? Why am I so special that I only give people one strike when Allah gives countless opportunities to repent?
His Mercy is the reason for every moment of our existence. It embraces all things.
More than anything, this is a reminder for myself to be more merciful. After all, if you show mercy to the ones on earth, the One in Heaven will show you Mercy.
Please keep me in your du’aa today and always. Please forgive me for all of my shortcomings. Please remember, no matter how far away you are from Allah right now, He has never taken leave of you and He holds your forgiveness.