What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well.

It’s… frustrating… We’re not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me?  What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!

No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with “cocaine” because I appreciate the reactions.

Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn’t do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim.  Yes, I did things I’m not necessarily proud of, I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t some crazy wild rapper’s girlfriend or something.

But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was…

BACON!

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Just kidding 😉

If you really want to know, I’ll tell you…

The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.

I’m NOT a girly girl.

I hate girls, to be honest.

Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love,  but I find girls very hard to get along with.

I’m too honest. I don’t when other people give me “advice.” I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.

Really, I do.

I don’t think I’m better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can’t talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.

I don’t think women are stupid, and I don’t think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.

So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.

And, now that I’m Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn’t work for me.

So, I’ve had to change.

I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.

There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.

There’s rules.  And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don’t talk to me anymore. Either way.

But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.  

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For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.

There was a separation.

Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.

Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it’s not the only thing.  There are other subjects to talk about.

Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend’s birthday.  I’ve only known her for a few months, but we’ve become close – we hang out every weekend.  She’s even introduced me to her group of friends and we’re all friends now.  But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me.  They’re crazy.  They’re so much fun.  We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up… LoL.

But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah…

They are both intelligent and fun.  Which is awesome.

And I’m so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.

Alhamdulilah.

If you’re Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us.  They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they’re not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.

May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them.  Ameen.

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10 thoughts on “What Was The Hardest Thing for You to Give Up? It Must Have Been Drugs, Yes?

  1. I never knew it was forbidden to hang out with the opposite gender in Islam.

    Is it such a big deal if you were to violate this rule? I mean, as long as you aren’t meeting the man for any sexual purposes, it would seem like Allah would understand…

    1. Only Allah knows, but at the same time, your reputation is very important in Islam. Putting yourself in these situations allows others to talk about you and that’s not necessarily something I want to be known for. You never know the situation. Even if you have pure intentions, you can’t always control the other person. Especially when we forbid sex until we’re married…

  2. Slamo Alikom Sis,

    I read your entire blog alomst every line-or that’s what I guess- While I agree with you that Muslims may have different thoughts about nonmuslims ,but the opposite is much worse . And for sure there are nonmuslims who are following Sunnah and they don’t know that it’s Sunnah long story short : Rasulu Allah(PBUH) Said
    “Every child is born on Fitrah (natural disposition; or true faith of Islam to worship none but Allah), then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian.” And For sure the who tends to do that are of good Fitrah . Almost every Muslim knows this Hadith

    Yes there are Muslims who think in a wrong way about nonmuslims ,but there are lots of Muslims too who personally dealt with nonmuslims ,even in our Muslim countries -not necessairly in Europe or US- and believe me they don’t pre-judge people .

    While I’m one of your biggest fans , but Sis I guess it’s not suitable to discuss what you were doing before Islam this could be Mujahara- profession of sins-.

    Don’t lose your focus sis. May Allah guide us all to the correct path and help us keep along with it .

    1. Wa alaykum salaam,

      How do you figure that it’s “much worse?” – I would say it’s about even. It may perhaps be much worse for you, but a nonMuslim person may say just the opposite.

      It’s a problem for both groups. Muslims are ignorant to the lives of nonMuslims, but OF COURSE nonMuslims are ignorant to the lives of Muslims as well. See my other posts to see that I have obviously taken this stance before – a lot – but I’m just saying there is ignorance going both ways.

      The reality is, not everyone follows Islam. Not everyone follows the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) even though they know they should. They may know what the right thing to do is, but that doesn’t mean that they’re all doing it. But this is not only true of nonMuslims, it’s true of Muslims too.

      There are judgmental Jews, Hindus, Christians, Buddhists, AND MUSLIMS. Because I don’t belong to the other groups, I feel it is best for me to encourage Muslims to stop the judgment.

      I didn’t discuss my sins. I said that I didn’t commit the sins that others expect of me, actually. I think that you may be confusing my words. Glad you’re a fan, but I hope you can understand my feelings and not take offense to what I say due to confusion.

      Salaam,
      Hannah

      1. Slamo Alikom ,

        I’m sorry if I delivered a wrong message here .
        About how I know it’s much worse because I have experienced living in both worlds … I was born and brought up in a Muslim country and after my graduation I worked for a multinational company where I worked in more than 18 countries and I’ve dozens of friends, colleagues from all backgrounds you can imagine .
        Many times my nonmuslim colleagues were introducing me to other coworkers …you can’t imagine they always thought that I was carrying a gun with me but I know it wasn’t their fault , it was ours due to our dereliction in Dawah and introducing the correct picture of Islam to them .
        And I agree with you not all Muslims follow the sunnah of Prophet (SAWS) …but what I meant is those who are not committing sins and acting as Muslims are of pure fittrah – natural disposition- and they are the most probable to convert to Islam , Rasul Allah(SAWS) said “The best of you are those whose morals are best…” quoted from the hadith , So if nonmuslim has good morals he/she is in shaa Allah closest to Islam and when he converts he makes a good Muslim in shaa Allah, that’s what I meant .

        And Sorry again If I compiled it in wrong way . I was just trying to keep you focused .
        May Allah guide us to the correct path

  3. :O This was the hardest thing for me, too! I mean, secretly, so to speak lol Women, we’re just so different compared to men; men are so simple, sincere and honest, and most women we meet end up not being the good friends we thought they were.
    However, I believe that we CAN have true best friends – Muslimahs – especially in Islam, most devote Muslimahs are just so special Alhamdulillah 🙂
    Haha I miss bacon soo much, though 😛 My dad told me the other day there is chicken bacon here (so weird) and my mouth unconsciously watered lol

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