EVERY SINGLE MUSLIM PERSON I HAVE EVER MET ASKS ME THIS QUESTION! A lot of nonMuslims as well.
It’s… frustrating… We’re not supposed to talk about any haram we have done, so why are you asking me? What do you expect me to say? I really found it difficult to kick the hard drugs!
No, I never did any drugs in my entire life, but I love responding with “cocaine” because I appreciate the reactions.
Last month there was a post that I wrote that allowed me to vent the frustration I have when Muslims think nonMuslims do all sorts of terrible things, and I hope you realize that I didn’t do a lot of haram things before I was Muslim. Yes, I did things I’m not necessarily proud of, I wasn’t perfect, but I wasn’t some crazy wild rapper’s girlfriend or something.
But, because everyone asks this, the hardest thing to give up was…
Just kidding 😉
If you really want to know, I’ll tell you…
The hardest thing really to give up was friendships.
I’m NOT a girly girl.
I hate girls, to be honest.
Not all girls, of course, I do have a select few girlfriends that I love, but I find girls very hard to get along with.
I’m too honest. I don’t when other people give me “advice.” I have more important things to discuss than my purse and the color of my nail polish.
Really, I do.
I don’t think I’m better than anyone, and yes, I can talk about purses, but I can’t talk about them for 6 hours. Some girls can.
I don’t think women are stupid, and I don’t think all women are shallow, but finding girlfriends that share interests with me and can handle my personality is very rare.
So, I have always been very careful about the friends I chose.
And, now that I’m Muslim, having very close friendships with people who are doing things that my religion and my heart disagrees with, just doesn’t work for me.
So, I’ve had to change.
I maintain my friendships, yes, but I do so in a different way.
There is a barrier between friendship and sisterhood.
There’s rules. And, my nonMuslim friends respect my rules. Or, they don’t talk to me anymore. Either way.
But what is really beautiful is that I have made a lot of girlfriends that I really like.
For a long time I hung out with two types of girlfriends: my fun friends and my religious friends.
There was a separation.
Some like to hang out, we watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we shop, but at the end of the day, I get sick of the shallow conversations.
Some like to talk about religion all the time, we have in-depth discussions, and I LOVE IT! But, at the same time, although being Muslim is the most important thing in my life, it’s not the only thing. There are other subjects to talk about.
Now, the other night was my Saudi girlfriend’s birthday. I’ve only known her for a few months, but we’ve become close – we hang out every weekend. She’s even introduced me to her group of friends and we’re all friends now. But, I realized for the first time this is the perfect group of friends for me. They’re crazy. They’re so much fun. We dance in the middle of the living room in grass skirts for two hours and crack up… LoL.
But, after we dance, we sit down and talk about hadith, my conversion, problems in the ummah…
They are both intelligent and fun. Which is awesome.
And I’m so thankful to have found girlfriends that are such a perfect balance for me. It just goes to show that when you have a sincere intention to rid yourself of something that is haram, God will replace it with an even greater gift.
If you’re Muslim, though, please consider that nonMuslims are really not that different than us. They may have different ideas of what is okay, their religions may have guided them in different ways, but they’re not all majaneen (crazies). Many of them follow the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad without even knowing it, just because it feels right.
May Allah (swt) keep us all away from haram, may He bless all of our friendships, and may He help us not to judge other people before knowing them. Ameen.