Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That’s Why You’re Brainwashed, Right?

Yep! You got it! My imaginary husband who put this invisible ring on my finger is Muslim so I just wear this on my head to make him happy.

Umm …. no.  You’re stupid, and by the way, it’s a 22 carat invisible ring. And my imaginary husband is the guy that got kicked out of Saudi Arabia for being too hot. Duh.

After the Boston Marathon tragedy a lot of people were speaking out about the widow of one of the attackers as she is a convert and making this accusation of her.

It made me really mad.

And I feel terrible for that poor girl bless her little soul.

I think I have it rough with my friends and family? Imagine if I married someone accused of something like Boston.

The amount of judgment I can imagine is intolerable.

May Allah (swt) relieve her of her burdens and may she fight through the ignorance to become a voice for all of us.

What I found the worst was that I read an article (or watched a TV segment – I can’t remember) where her old professor said that she was a bright girl with a great future, it’s a shame she became a Muslim because of that guy.

What killed me is that I can totally see something like this happening to me and reporters calling up like my freshman year Geology professor who thought that I should be a geologist and was pissed when I told him that I could not imagine my life spent with rocks all day.

Yah, he was offended.  He looked like an angry version of Danny Tanner.  I insulted his passion. He would claim “Muslim” on me.


And, they showed pictures of her with hair… what the hell? That’s so messed up.  That’s her choice to wear hijab, why do you think it’s appropriate to show pictures of her without hijab just because her husband messed up? I’m sure they’d find some ridiculous pictures of me and post them all over the internet. (By the way, before anyone judges me for this sentence, I don’t care if you’re a 53 year old niqqabi, you have a skankalicious picture SOMEWHERE).

I would flip.

You can’t assume that we all became Muslim because we married some guy.

(Who are these persuasive men? I want them on my dawah team!)

I would do a lot for someone I really loved, that’s true.  Give up my favorite food perhaps, do a symbolic dance of sorts, dye my hair red.  But change my religion? No chance in hell.


And last week, at my open house, a woman came up to me and said “your husband must be Muslim right? What’s your story?” No. Not right. I’m not married. I’m Muslim on my own choosing. No guy in my ear.  No threats.  Just Muslim because I want to be.

Like I’ve said before, some girls meet some 7/11 owner named Firas, fall in love with him and “convert” to Islam because he says so and they can’t marry anyone else otherwise.  And he wants his greencard.

But that’s not every person.

Look, I don’t LOVE these stories, it wasn’t my path, but who am I to judge those girls?

Maybe they really believe it. Maybe Firas is meant to be a Muslim missionary. I don’t know.  You don’t know.

Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?

It’s not my choice. But it’s a choice.

I also have spoken to a lot of my friends that converted after falling in love with a guy and what I realized is that it wasn’t because their husbands are Muslim that they converted.  It was because it’s the first time they ever had a deep conversation about religion with someone that was Muslim and they finally understood it.  You probably aren’t going to talk to your girlfriends about the secrets of life, religion, faith, etc… in a deep way. You’re gonna talk about shoes.  But, you will talk to a potential spouse that deeply.  So, that’s when Islam comes up.  When you’re deep in conversation.

But, please, don’t assume it’s because of some controlling Muslim guy that these women would change their faith.  Islam is the fastest spreading religion – it’s not because there’s a lot of controlling dudes and weak women.  It’s because it’s beautiful.

There’s a LOT of male converts as well so riddle me that one….

And Muslim people – that were born Muslim – don’t be so quick to ridicule converts who convert after falling in love with a Muslim guy.  You’re not God.  And, there’s no reason to be skeptical.

Again, I suck at history, but I remember this story: In battle a man took his shahada when he was about to be killed by the army of the Prophet Muhammad (saws) and the solider killed him anyway.  Prophet Muhammad (saws) told that soldier that it was wrong of him to kill him as even if he is in a pressured situation, the solider, a mere man, is not the one to say whether or not the man was Muslim.

Similarly, we can’t judge.

Finally, know that no, I’m not brainwashed.  I didn’t come to Islam with some “kumbaya” (no, I can’t spell it!) lovey -dovey attitude towards it.  I came to it critically, harshly, like every other “average American” would.  And after fact checking, understanding, and building my knowledge then – and only then – did I fall in love with it and convert.

May Allah (swt) protect this woman, Katherine Russell, from all of the negativity in this world.  May He open peoples eyes to Islam.  May He help everyone that converts to do so willingly and for His sake only. And may everyone that takes his or her shahada die a Muslim.  Ameen.


12 thoughts on “Your Husband Must Be Muslim, That’s Why You’re Brainwashed, Right?

  1. OMG. I love this post!!! LOL People make soo many assumptions. The thing is, you don’t know until you ask, and if you don’t ask you assume. Yep and then they make false judgements. So ask away! (Unless you are snotty or bitchy about it. Then GTFOH)

      1. You’re TOO funny! I love it! LoL… I thought for sure you would have used this one for your quote of the day LOL: “Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?”

  2. My first time reading your blog! Mabrook! loved it. I loved this quote, “Most people just follow the religion of their parents, so why is it SOOO wrong to follow the religion of your husband?” . So perfect! I can’t agree more with your experiences! I remember one time I was being harassed by a Lebanese Christian woman, she kept going on and on about how I must have been threatened for my life to convert, she even asked me if they PAID me to convert! WTH! I was baffled!! xoxo Nina

  3. Lol that ring and the hot “husband” cracked me up! You’re funny, and get serious when it’s important. Alhamdulillah, so nice to have a sister like you representing Islam in this nice manner 🙂 And yeah, I get asked constantly who forced me to. :S Yikes, why is it that people think so bad about Islam?
    I hope you keep posting, it’s enjoyable to read them and helps me realize we are not alone Subhanallah

  4. You converted to Islam and you are a woman?! I have seven daughters and one daughter on the way and two sons (yes, I will have 10 children soon). If my sons chose Islam I would have a serious talk to them about how I understand that it’s attractive because men are supreme in Islam and women are to be subservient and obedient to their husbands and fathers. But I can’t imagine in a million years that any of my daughters would do their diligence on that religion and chose it! Have you been to Yemen? Saudi Arabia? Have you been to Muslim nations? You say you did your homework and fact checking on this religion. The only reason I can think that you chose this religion as a free woman or her own volition, after fact checking is that you didn’t even scratch the surface when learning about Islam, or you are a non conformist with some hurts and pain in your life and you are trying to prove that you don’t have to conform to ways that people expect you to. Since you can make a website, and write coherent sentences, I think you are intelligent, so I think you are just trying to be original and a non conformist by being a female that chooses Islam. If you really do your homework, which is easy to do with the internet, you will see that woman are abused, raped and killed everyday for not conforming to what men tell them to do. Women are stoned to death, homosexuals are hung, 9 year olds have their arms driven over by cars for steeling. Why don’t you talk to Muslim women who escaped Islam and ask them what it’s really all about? Anyways, life is short, and can be confusing and difficult. I don’t want you to feel like I’m attacking you. If after reading this you want to delete it, or allow it and reply, or take is seriously and look into it more, that’s up to you. Peace.

  5. I converted to marry my wife… I already believed there was only one god and jesus was just a man so it wasn’t too far of a leap… My wife gets gets mad at me when I question things and makes me feel like I am not a good enough Muslim. I have issues with Hadith and things that don’t make sense to me.
    Like do this thing 33 times = 1year of forgiveness. It feels like superstition to me and everyone expects me to believe these things as well a teach them to my children. I love my wife. I am tired of not being a good enough Muslim for her…

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